Wedding Fiasco
by ultimate-fandom
Summary: AU-ness. After everything they have been through the earth is saved and now Trolls and humans live together peacefully. The wedding reception of Rose and Kanaya proves too much for Jake and his still present feelings for a certain Spikey haired blonde...will the two confess their love or will they be whisked away from each other. Mature for a reason, lemons in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Well here it is my first ever fanfiction so I hope anyone who reads this will like it; these two are one of my OTPs!**

**As usual Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck or any of its characters**

**Chapter 1:**

"It's beautiful" I whisper aloud to myself, as I look around the grand hall of the Lalonde mansion where (Roxy's mum) Rose and kanaya's wedding reception is being held. It looks like an old aristocrat's house; the ceiling is hung with a crystal chandelier hanging in the centre.

"You like it Jakey?" Roxy questioned as she shuffled next to me. I turned towards her, Surprised to find that she had kept her promise to not touch a drop until the reception was well on its way.

"It is positively splendid my dear" Adoration present in my voice. She seemed pleased by my response and gave me a warm smile.

"Yeah this place never seems to stop being beautiful, whether it's done up or not" She said in awe, her face lighting up, looking over the happy couple and friends.

"You're correct, beauty will never fade in some things, no matter what it has been through" My voice slightly cracked as my eyes drifted over to a certain blonde, hidden behind pointy dark shades…Dirk Strider. Even being my ex-boyfriend I couldn't help my eyes being glued to him; He looked stunning in his suit, it was a traditional form fitting black jacket and trousers contrasting a white dress shirt.

A smirk tugged at my mouth as I noticed the bright orange converse accompanied with a matching tie hanging loosely from his neck. Our choices weren't much different except I had a green bow tie, also matching with green converse. Going out with him certainly had an effect on how I dressed for formal occasions from numerous occasions of Dirk stopping me from wearing my favourite green suit. It wasn't that bad.

"You love him still, don't you?" Roxy had noticed my gaze upon Dirk and knew my mind better than me.

All I replied was "yes" that one work spoken was filled with so much longing and hurt as I tore my eyes away from him.

She only stared at me with wide pink eyes mouthing the words 'wow'.

"What?"

"I will help"

"Help, with what dear Roxy?" waiting for a reply that I would probably regret. Who knows what schemes were running through a Lalonde's mind. Frankly I didn't want to find out but it was inevitable that she'd continue to tell me.

"I'm going to get you two back together of course!" She clapped both her hands together and giggled at me, as if her plan was obvious. She continued to grin as she mumbled to herself "But how? Maybe making him jealous would work…I'd need a victim" Roxy hummed to herself scanning the crowd.

"Roxy" I held her hand grabbing her attention "I love you for doing this…but is it really the best way?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because he is doing it right now with…that slut" She coughed out the ending motioning towards a gorgeous raven haired girl, wearing barely what could be called a dress in bright red, which clung to her body as she hung from his body pressed as close as anyone could humanly get.

"Why is he with a girl?" Roxy questioned as she stared at the two.

"Well um you know he prefers guys but girls are okay too" I sighed.

"Fuck, he is going to ruin this party with that whore" The words that spilled from Roxy's mouth definitely were not what I was used to.

"Roxy, it's fine! Let's just go down there and talk to our friends" My eyes followed the clusters of people around and feel upon some familiar faces "There's Gamzee and Karkat" I pointed towards the two getting my hand swatted by Roxy. It's quite rude to point and still a bad habit of mine.

We descended the stairs together. Waving like an idiot I managed to catch Gamzee's attention who waved back as I heard giggling burst from Roxy.

I didn't realise that almost every pair of eyes were staring at the two of us together, including a pair of carefully concealed orange eyes.

Missing the last step I jumped into Gamzee's outstretched arms; we were close friends and hadn't seen each other for a while since the vacation Karkat and Gamzee decided to go on.

"I've missed you" I couldn't stop the smile that plastered my face.

"YoU tWo MoThErFuCkEr"

"They both are really close, aren't they Karkitty?" Roxy chuckled.

"NICE TO SEE YOU TOO ROXY. I'M FUCKING FINE BY THE WAY"

After Gamzee released me from my grip I quickly hugged the crabby Karkat, glad to hear his voice. "Did you have fun on vacation Karkat?"

A blush crept across his face as his eyes flicked to Gamzee and then back to me.

"YEAH" He mumbled under his breath.

"That's great! I'm glad Gamzee didn't wear you out my friend" I chuckled at Karkats reaction which was not amusement at all.

"WHAT!"

Everyone turned to Karkat, wondering what had set him off. He blushed a deeper shade of red looking at Gamzee while he only smiled like an idiot.

"JAKE! DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC."

"I'm just messing with you" I grinned as I heard more giggles issue from Roxy.

"It'S mOtHeRfUcKiNg OkAy"

"YEAH"

"It WaS gReAt SeX tHoUgH"

I couldn't help myself when I burst out laughing at the shocked and embarrassed face of Karkat. It was so funny me and Roxy were clutching our sides in hysterics.

"I haven't had a good laugh like that in a while" All I got back from the three were looks filled with sympathy. I shouldn't have said that.

"Be back in a minute Jakey!" She chimed as she turned away.

"So what did you guys think of-"

"-Jake!"

I turned only to catch a flying Jane in my arms as I was put into an arm crushing hug.

"How are you Jane" I tried to breath out as she continued to hug me tightly.

"I'm fine…It's good to talk to you since you haven't been on Pesterchum much"

"Sorry! I…um…I just" Only stutters came from my mouth as I couldn't find an explanation.

"He was probably on an adventure" The familiar came from behind me.

I turned slowly to calm myself down before my eyes met Dirk. Oh dear. My heart was beating too fast as I stared into the darkness of his shades. The girl he had seen before had her arms interlinked with him, as Roxy appeared beside us holding a tray full of drinks and a slight smirk on her.

"You know he can't help it Dirky, he lives for the adventure" She laughed.

"She is right; I just got lost in the beauty of the wild" I said. Wait a minute…

"Roxy, you said you wouldn't. You promised your mum you wouldn't have any drinks"

She just giggled at me "These are just for you guys…but mainly for you" I realised she was just trying to make me feel better with her 'liquid cheer as she calls it'. I smiled as a thank you while taking a glass.

"By the way, this is Gaia and these" he said to his date "Jake, Jane, Roxy, Gamzee and Karkat"

I plaster a smile on while shaking her hand. "A pleasure to meet you my dear"

"Aren't you a sweetie" her high pitched voice squeaked.

"Everyone, We Would Like To Announce That The Ballroom Is Now Open" Kanaya's voice cut off what I was about to say. Rose appeared beside her planting a kiss on her lips.

"Yes, it is time to dance the night away" Rose called as all eyes were now turned on them and with that we all made our way to the ballroom where everyone started to watch the two enjoy their dance.

Not long Dave and John joined followed on until many more people joined in on the dance. Karkat was eventually dragged on to the dance floor by Gamzee no matter how many protests he made.

"Well then, shall we dance Dirky pie?" Gaia whispered into Dirks ear.

"It would be my pleasure, excuse us, Roxy, Jake" He quickly took her in arms towards the dance floor.

I couldn't stop the sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach; he said that he would only ever dance with me, but that was a long time ago. People change.

"That's it I'm sorry mum but I am going to break my promise" I heard her mutter as she held two brightly coloured shot glasses.

"Jake it's time you let loose and forget about Dirky poo and his 'date'. Let's just have fun for now"

Taking the shot from her I mirrored a smile as we both looked over all the people enjoying themselves.

"No you have it wrong"

"What do you mean?" Roxy asked slightly puzzled.

I grasped more shots and necked one down, handing her one too.

"Let's go wild!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

After a couple of shots me and Roxy decided to go and dance after we downed a couple of shots...well a 'Roxy couple'; which is around 10-20 shots later. With my brain fuzzy I didn't have a care in the world as I made my way more into the dance floor, the tipsy maiden following behind. As much as we giggled we were still able to pull off the waltz, although as much fun as dancing can be it did get boring after a while; I just wanted to do something more exciting.

"Are youuuu-"

"bored? Yup" she chuckled.

"How about we change things up around here?" winking at her I strutted towards the infamous Dave Strider, tapping him on the shoulder.

"sup" he answered. His eyes focused on me. Well I think they did but its hard to tell through those shades of his, which showed no indication of eyes at all and instead I'm met with my own reflection.

"dude..."

"earth to English"

Shaking my head i grinned like an idiot, my teeth showing.

"sorry, zoned out there for a second…anyway can we have some real music?" I pleaded. The music had been a bore and I'm sure many thought the same too. Not to sound rude or anything.

Dave's eyebrows quirked upwards, only earning himself a flailing Jake. I may have looked like a fool but it gave the right effect, as he gave a short nod.

"You're drunk or getting there" He stated in the normal cool Strider fashion, which somehow pissed me off.

"Well what if I am?"

"Chill dude" The blonde leaned back, a smirk tugging at his lips "I was just saying; no need to get your panties in a twist"

"I'm not even wearing panties and fuck you I can drink as much as I want" To make my point I grabbed the drink close to Dave, not caring what it was.

"Bro don't. That's some strong shit" He warned; as he watched me gulp it down in one go. Burning its way down my throat I immediately started to feel the effects as my cheeks flushed slightly, instantly warming me up.

"Fuck" I breathed out.

"Told you so" I glared at him. "But respect to you for necking down that whiskey. So for that I'll work my magic on this music. I'll get my magicians wand and turn up the sick beats of the gods to sway these bitches" What does that even mean? He smirked, shook my hand and went into the booth but not before dragging John with him who squeaked at the action.

I looked down at my hand to find a piece of paper with an arrow pointing to where the strider had sat seconds ago; when the fuck did he give me this paper! A bottle of whiskey sat there simply calling for you to drink more. I smiled grasping the bottle, taking a swig while looking at the dance floor. I started laughing hysterically at the look of everyone's face as they stopped mid waltz; All Time Low came screaming out of the speakers, it was load but not loud enough to drown out Roxy who had got s microphone…nothing was loud enough to drown out that sound.

"WOOHOOOOOOOO! DAVE 'FUCKING' STRIDER YOU ARE AWSOME" she spun around so that she was looking straight at me from across the room, smiling with a mischievous glint in her eyes "AND YOU TOO JAKEY-POOO" doing a perfect impression of Gaia's high pitched voice "FOR GETTING DAVE TO FINALLY CHANGE THAT GOG AWFUL MUSIC"

A spotlight suddenly hit me and I knew for a fact that it was Dave probably trying to embarrass me but I was beyond caring at that point, so climbed upon the nearest table making sure that everyone could see me and then saluted her with the bottle of whisky whiles bowing before standing up straight and taking a swig. The crowd on the dance floor cheered, clapped and whistled at my silly antics.

"Now that Roxy has said her thanks to me and Jakey-poo" Dave's voice boomed out of the speakers "it's time to have some real fun…isn't that right John?" I giggled knowing that John was probably blushing at the innuendo Dave made; you could tell that Dave had done it on purpose because you could hear the smirk in Dave's voice.

"Wha…what….Dave don't say stuff like" John whinned "…DAVE STOP TOUCHING….AHHHH" the sound was suddenly cut off and the music back on, I giggled realising that Dave had left the speaker on, on purpose to embarrass John. I couldn't wait to tease him about that later. I stood there listening to the music, just letting myself being absorbed by it not noticing my surroundings or Roxy for that matter until she was grabbing my hand pulling herself up onto the table with me. She then started to sing and dance with me up on the table, which as embarrassing as it sounds I just couldn't turn down this chance to dance as I haven't had a chance to in a long while.

"Hey whaa you got there Jakey Poo?" she giggled out as she took the bottle out of my hands and drank a mouthful of it.

"ohhh….and how did you get some of Dave's special whiskey" a grin similar to the Cheshire cats spread across her face.

"I just stole his first glass, necked that, then he said he would do the music and left me the bottle just like that" I said whiles flinging my arms around wildly.

"hmmm, it seems me and Dave are thinking the same thing" a smile that was impossibly wide appeared on her face making her face glow but well that could be the alcohol working I thought whiles giggling turning around to look out at the pulsing crowd…but something about what she said made me think and do a double take.

"Wha you mean by Roxy Poo?" I giggled though my eyes were serious and she must of realised because she shoved the bottle into my mouth and tipped aloud down my throat, I gulped most of it but I spluttered the rest out onto the people around us which led to a chorus of

"HEY" "WATCH IT" "DUDE"

"hahahaha, ofmg Jakey Poo you are so funny" she bends over laughing causing some guys behind her to whistle as her short dress raises up, she straightens up and says "lets dance like there is no tomorrow" as Gangam Style echoes around me, we look at each other smiling like idiots before we start doing the dance upon the table. Not caring that we looked like we were insane. I didn't realise that 1: Dirk was staring at me 2: that I was dancing right on the edge of the table 3: that I probably was making a fool of myself in front of everyone With the crowd cheering, me and Roxy dancing and me drinking I didn't have time to look where I was dancing, so when Roxy bumped into me hard I fell. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact and the inevitable pain. It never came instead I felt the warm embrace of two arms wrapping around me, catching me. I opened my eyes and looked straight into the eyes of Eridan Ampora, I quickly jumped out of his arms apologizing

"omg, I am so soooo sorry Ewidan" my words slightly slurred due to the alcohol.

"Hey everybody, he's alllllright so….WHO WANTS TA JOIN ME ON MY PAAARRRTTYYY TABLE!?"

Roxy's voice stopped my drunken apology and made me look up at her, you looked at me and winked at me before indicating to someone in the crowd. I looked to where she was indicating and my eyes met a pair of anime shades…Dirk, he stood there and I could tell he was relieved that I was okay but I saw his sword hand twitch and I was shocked…he was jealous! That's why Roxy winked, he was jealous that I was caught by Eridan and that he didn't catch me…..hahaha that couldn't be true Dirk wouldn't get jealous because of that he doesn't even like me.

"English…English…JAKE!"

"Huh" I jumped as someone waved their hands in front of my face whiles shouting my name, I tore my gaze from Dirk's and turned towards Eridan, he was wearing a formal Tuxedo but he still had on his scarf.

"English are you feeling wwell"

"Yeah, thankyou for catching me old friend"

"Wwhether it is a sea dwweller or a land dwweller, I can catch anything" He said proudly standing taller with a smile on his face

"Well as a way of saying thankyou how about I buy you a drink"

"That wwould be great" he said blushing slightly as I grab his hand and push my way through to the bar, after a huge amount of effort to squeeze through the sea of people we finally get there and take the last two stools.

"I will have…let's see, ah yes, a Sex on the Beach please and a Bloody Mary for my friend here" I giggled out to the bar tender.

"So wwhat happened out there Jake" he questioned

"Me and Roxy were dancing and..."

"No not that." He shakes his head " I meant when you stood there staring at dirk"

"EH! You noticed that huh. It was nothing really…" I giggled out nervously before grabbing my drink the bartender just put there and taking a big gulp of it as I really didn't want to talk about it. Back then it looked as if Dirk had been coming to save me but he wouldn't do that….at least not anymore.

"So how have you been" he said, obviously seeing my discomfort at the current topic, he is a good friend to have. Yes you heard correctly, I Jake English am friends with Eridan Ampora, the sea dwelling pureblood who had wanted to kill every low blood and land dweller…well at least that's what he said before. It wasn't an easy task becoming his friend but after chatting on pester chum it turned out we had a couple of things in common and so a friendship was formed.

"I have been quite good Eridan and how about you?"

"I have been okay" he replied taking a sip of his drink before smiling at the taste

Even though there was music blaring out of the speakers, an awkward silence still managed to hang around us as we both didn't know what to say. So for the next half hour we took turns ordering each other drinks, laughing and making jokes at the names of the each drink. After a while we both loosened up, most likely due to the silly amount of drinks, we soon found our secrets spilling out of our mouths like the liquid that we had drinking.

"I ssstillll like Dirk even though that fucktard dumped me" I slurred.

"He wwas a fucking piece of land dwelling shit for givving you up"

I giggled at his language, apparently if you get him drunk enough he swears like a sailor.

"Yeah he was and now he has that whore with him and I'm fucking jealous" Well apparently so.

"Wwell lets make him jealous" he smiled at me a glint of mischief in his glazed over eyes

"You sound like rosssy" I mumbled

"Well she did mention to me earlier that you wwere fucking depressed and that I could help cheer you up."

"Fucking hell, she had all this planned out" I should have known she would have a plan in motion.

"Yeah, wwell except for you falling" he laughed out "So shall wwe dance and make that fucking land dwweller?" you smile at him as it could be fun for the both of you.

"Yes, lets" I drained the last of my last drink and he drank his as we stumble out of our seats , once we were finally up right he grabbed my outstretched hand and dragged me towards the centre of the dance floor.

Just want to say thankyou to:

BlOo KiSsEs

and

SpooNeko

for the reviews on my first chapter


	3. Chapter 3

I stood there in the centre of the pulsing dance floor where everybody rubbing and grinding against each other, everyone was moving as one as Dave's most famous song played putting everyone in a trance of fiery passion. I started to sway letting the music, lights and the atmosphere take control of my body; I was free, all the worries I had just left me and I just let myself go and the passion consume me. I felt two arms wrap around my waist, pulling me flush against their chest, I didn't panic though because I knew it who it was; Eridan buried his face in the crook of my neck pressing his lips there before kissing his way up to my ear and then whispering in it.

"havving fun Jake?"

"yessss" I moaned out as he started to kiss back down my neck, his hand starting to play with the buttons of my dress shirt; we had both decided to leave our jackets at the bar. The music then started to pick up in tempo and I pushed myself further back into his body as his hands as I felt his hands brush against my bare chest; dam he works quick.

"Turn around" he told me, his voice firm and commanding; I turn around to face him and he pushed my shirt of my body exposing my tanned muscled chest.

"Gog English, you look fucking sexy" he groaned into my ear. I pulled him closer to me and started to work at the buttons of his shirt.

"this has to go, now"

"yes, yes" he panted out.

I got annoyed at the buttons and instead tore his shirt open and just stood there staring at his well-muscled chest. I could feel the music pick up the tempo again and I felt Eridan's hands run up and down my chest, caressing my abs and brushing past my nipples me fling my head back and moan. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me close to him; I wrapped my arms around his neck running my fingers through his baby hairs as his hands ran back down my chest to rest on my hips pulling them against his, before he moved them against his own.

"wwell evven though it is fun standing here teasing you, how about we dance" he whispered in my ear.

I giggled at him before I started to move with the music, he started to move with me and as the music kept on getting faster we were moving as one, touching each-others body. As he brushed against my nipples again I moaned and bucked my hips into his, he gasped before looking at me his eyes starting to cloud with lust. We began to grind ourselves as hard as we could into each other, moaning at the feeling of our clothed cocks rubbing making us shiver in pleasure. I moved my hands into his soft hair before yanking his head so that our lust filled eyes met.

"Kiss me now!" I demanded

"Gladly" he moaned

He smashed his lips against mine in a sloppy lust filled kiss, his tongue running along my lips begging for entrance; I gasped and his tongue dove into my mouth caressing and coaxing my tongue to play with his. As my tongue battled his for dominance of the kiss he began to buck harder and faster against me, making me moan into the kiss and let his tongue dominate mine. I feel like I'm on fire, one of his hands ran down my chest towards the waist band of my trousers.

No…we can't do this…I love Dirk not Eridan!

"Eridan stop" I gasp out, breaking the kiss.

"No" he growled out

Not good! I could feel the panic rise in me, as he grabbed my hair more forcefully pulling my mouth to his. I tried to push him away but all the alcohol had made me slower and the panic was making me freeze up; I grabbed his hand trying to stop him as he moved his hand to get under my trouser, but I couldn't stop him.

I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable.

"GET THIS FUCKING THING OFF ME!"

My eyes snapped open, when I heard Eridan scream, and I was shocked at the sight that greeted me. There on Eridan's back, with angry eyes glowing red and arms around his mouth and eyes was…

CAL!

"Holy Shit, CAL!" I screamed out in shock, most likely getting everyone's attention. I was just so shocked that Cal would do, that he would help me…wait id Cal is here does that mean that…

"GET THIS FUCKING SHITTY PUPPET OFF ME NOW!"

He stumbled towards me and grabbed my wrist pulling me towards him so I could get Cal off him, most likely but I resisted and this grip on my wrist tightened enough that I let out a small sound of pain. Once that small sound had left my mouth, Cal disappeared from his back only to reappear on the arm that had a hold of me.

CRACK

That one noise sounded so loud even compared to Eridan's scream, which was an ear-piercing scream and now I knew everyone's eyes were on us. I turned my head to look at everyone and my eyes found Roxy's but what I saw confused me she was looking at me with horror in her eyes and I just didn't understand. I felt Cal move to my head wrapping his arms around my head bracing it; I turned back around and I was met with a grey fist connecting with my cheek. My head snap to the side and I stumbled back, crumpling to the floor…well I now know what Roxy was looking horrified at.

"Thank you, Cal" I whispered out reaching behind me and patting him on his head.

"JAKE! I…I'm so sorry" he said, panic making his voice higher "Please forgivv…"

He never finished as a tall figure appeared in front of me blocking my view of him and the next thing I knew I could see him flying across the room and landing on a table hard, breaking it from the force of the punch.

"Don't you fucking dare go near him, EVER! If you do I will kill you Eridan Ampora!" the figure said, his deep angry voice holding an accent I knew all too well. I looked down from where I was sitting and saw orange converse, I quickly looked up at the figure and I was met with a pair of anime shades and if you knew what you were looking for a pair of orange eyes…Dirk

Wait Dirk…what is going on! Dirk is standing in front of me…he saved me, he fucking punched Eridan for me, HOLY SHIT! I just sat there staring, my mouth hanging open in shock as I processed this.

"…ke…ake…JAKE!" I heard a voice call my name but it sounded far away.  
"He Is In Shock" Another said  
"OMG…is he okay"

I could hear their voices, all of them talking at me but they sounded distant; I concentrated on the voices, shaking my head slowly to clear it but wincing at the pain.

"Easy Jake, you got hit quite hard even if lil Cal helped ya" Dirk said. I stared at him, he was concerned for my well being…wow

Wait the other voices

I turned my head around ignoring the pain and saw everyone who had attened the wedding staring at me, talking about me and I just couldn't deal with it; I could feel myself beginning to freak, I started to breathe faster because I had just ruined a wedding, the wedding of my best friends Mom. Dirk must have realised this.

"Jake, calm down. There's no reason ta freak dude" he said trying to calm me but that made it worst and I just snapped, listening to my instincts I jumped up and punched him in the jaw; I was feeling threatened and he was in my face, that is just not a good idea. Everyone went quiet and stared at me so I did the one thing I could do…I fled like a coward not an adventurer but at this point I didn't think about it nor really care, I just let my instincts take over and they told me to run, run as fast as I could.

I lost track of where I was running after I was up the grand staircase, so after what felt like hours of running I finally stopped and when I took in my surrounding I realised I had never seen this part of the mansion before…fucking hell I was lost. I took a calming breath and looked around the hallway; it was pretty plain for the Lalonde mansion, just white wallpaper, with black vines decorating it, some blooming purple flowers- other than that there was a single door at the end of the hallway. I walked towards the door because I was still an adventure and I loved to discover new places, I smiled at that thought.

I reached out my hand and tested the door handle and turned it to see if it was unlocked and to my delight I was; I pushed the door opened and I was greeted with the sight of a most beautiful room. A grand king sized bed was the main focus covered in black silk sheets, with dark green cushions piled up at the head of the bed. It looked so comfy, so soft and I was tired after everything that had happened- a little nap would be good…first things first though secure the area. I walked back to the door locking it before walking across the room to the windows, the entire room was decorated in black and green-it looked amazing. I stood in front of the large windows before locking them and closing the curtains, yep this room was secure I thought before stripping the rest of my clothing off so I was just in my boxers. I hoped onto the bed before getting under the sheet, dam this bed was so soft it felt heavenly. I laid back onto the cushions but felt movement before suddenly I dropped further into the pillows, I turned my head and looked straight at Cal.

Of course! I forgot Cal was still on my head. After everything that happened to me came rushing back to me I let out a whimper, suddenly I Cal was right next to me and I hugged him just needing some comfort. I felt his puppet arms wrap me in a hug and I lost it…I started to sob uncontrollably and through it all Cal looked after me; I felt my eyes finally dry up before I finally closed my eys and drifted off to sleep knowing Cal would protect me.

Yay 3rd chapter

Shout out to:

Devochka303

BlOo KiSsEs

for reviewing my last chapter


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